I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
