Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
