just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
