So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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