I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hippo gnu deer
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
