you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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