My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
