His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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