you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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