it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
