i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
