my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
