this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
