i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
