dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize