I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
