Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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