Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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