dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
