I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
