if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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