how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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