scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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