Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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