She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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