i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
