I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
