And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Randomize
