I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
