Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Randomize
