in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you never un-have a 4some
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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