I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
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