her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
