Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
