so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
