Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
