yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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