This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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