I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
