It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You took a bar mat shot.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
