the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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