areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
