When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
