Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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