If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
