I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
