plz talk dirty to me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
