I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
