...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize