I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sobbing to NWA
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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